The Silver Fox

As promised, I arrived to the dock Saturday afternoon and found Lewis with his best friend at that time, Byron. He blurted out, "Rebekah and I are seeing each other". Mic drop. Did he just make this public? Yes, he did. Gulp. I'm used to it sort of organically coming about in the public eye, but not Lewis! The cat was out of the bag. It also warmed my heart. He put a construct to my wandering onto his boat, he put meaning to our friendship. He took me out of the friend zone and called it.

He opened wine and said he needed to talk to me about Christmas. It was only a month away and he wanted me to accompany him to Barrington to meet his oldest son, daughter in law and family. Double Gulp. Then the week between Christmas and New Years would be spent in Marathon Florida, could I get off? New Years Eve would be spent there with his family. And just like that he booked my flights with his. "Lewis, let me pay for mine!" "That's not how I operate" he replied and that was that.

He also shared that he had ordered some little 'blue pills' to make sure he could satisfy me. That was totally unexpected. An avalanche of thought came over me. I know at some point all couples do is sit on the sofa and hold hands, but I wasn't there yet. I still had cravings even though older, I loved sex. I told him I wanted 10 good years. I knew what that meant for the next 10, I would more than likely be widowed or become a caregiver, but if we got 10 good years I was willing to sacrifice the next 10. I've always thought of time like coins. We spend 25 cents just maturing, another 25 in marriage, having a family, divorce, then each decade is like a dime of time. I was at my half way point, he was at 75 cents already, was this wise? I knew I had time for one more love, could this one be the one of my life?

"Rebekah, life is in layers really. Think of a cake, layer upon layer with icing separating them all. You have run into that sweet layer of creamy icing in life. A man like Lewis, yes, he's 74, but has so much in his heart to offer. You told him you wanted companionship, a relationship, and this did not scare him away. He sat on his hands out of fear you were going to reject him in some way, decide not to move forward with an older man. He braced for pain in the absence of you. You offered him your hand to crawl out of the grief of JoAnn and this was healing to him."

Lewis spoke of his courtship with his wife. She had broken up with a college sweetheart who lived down the hall from Lewis. He later asked her out. After dating for a year he asked her to marry him. Ten months later she was expecting. They bought a bedroom set and it didn't fit in the little apartment he had, so he borrowed $5,000 from his uncle and bought their first home for $26,000. Three more sons would follow. This all seemed to speak to the character of man that Lewis was. Lewis seemed truly to be a good man. After all the inferior men in my past, why would I pass up this opportunity just because of an age gap?

Lewis said he wanted to spend time with me, take me out to dinner. He never went out alone since his wife died some 12 years earlier. The lake was all he had on the weekends. Dating this Silver Fox was so different than the previous relationship I had just exited earlier in the year. I had to pay my own way everywhere and this man wants to pay all travel expenses for me. I returned home with such a nostalgic feeling of my previous love, comparing him to this mature gentleman. First of all, he was quick to create the construct of a relationship and share it with close friends. Not at all like the younger man who was too weak to know what he wanted at first. Secondly, he wanted to introduce me to his family so quickly. Unlike the non committal man who doesn't want you in the mix until year 2 or 3 even. Thirdly, they want to use their resources to keep you with them without creating a hardship on you. Lastly, he wanted to spend time with me. Wow, pinch me! So different from the younger inferior men I had wasted so many years with.

Within the conversations that night at the dock he voiced concerns over me leaving him eventually, I voiced concerns over him leaving me prematurely, or others creating such a negative opinion of our seeing one another. He said we would handle it as it came, and I felt secure. And God whispered,

" Rebekah, we told you how everything would happen right around the corner. You are forever young and a heart that's gone through all of what you have is titanium- it can withstand so much more, you will see."

Ugggg, I didn't want to have to withstand more, what could that mean?